This morning , my little girl came over to visit me and we had breakfast together in our heaven diningroom. I set the table for us. And we had fun during our breakfast. Then we went out together! She drove my car and we went for shopping. Then back home! All was good with her. She left her job and works at home as a real estate broker. And she shared with me what she has been doing at home, recently. All was fine but after her I felt so much down because Sinem has been nowhere although we all have been here, in Boston, at BU! But she is not here anymore and I have been crying a lot today. I wish I could stop all. I wish I could stop that fire-ball which fell onto our heaven home. But I couldnt'! I was not able to do so. I only could scream as 'NOooo'!! That 'NOoo' was the last word of my life actually but I have come till today with a lovely little daughter and lovely friends and my angels. But ıt is too hard! You know! ıt has been too hard for me to lose her through my hands! I really cant' do without her but I struggle. Yes I do!..I have to! She was a very realistic mirror to me! I used to see myself on her shadow! She was just lıke me! She acted like me. Well!....Life is this! Or this is life! I would like to give you a secret! I love my life! It smells beautiful! And I cant' quit it! I love my pains because they make me stronger and stronger...have a vey joyful day....
Frh